Still, at its worst, it has the potential to be bad for casual sex relationships because it can result in one partner having sex (or, perhaps more accurately, having sex again and again and again, whether the other partners wants it or not, in order to feel like they are sexy and desired). This can cause serious emotional trauma and other psychological problems. Casual sex, and hooking up in general, are incredibly important to your sexual health.
The best way to keep your sexual health in tip-top shape is to start taking sex more seriously. This can start in the bedroom, by talking to your partner about your interests, fantasies, and what you want to do. Daphne Rose Kingma, PhD, associate professor of psychology and women’s health at Rutgers-Newark’s Mason University, tells Bustle that it’s important to discuss your sexual preferences and what you’re looking for when hooking up.
If you find someone on these apps that you like, be open to meeting them in real life if and when you want to. After you’ve done the work of talking about what you want, it’s nice to have a way to check in with your partner — or, as Kingma puts it, “to ask for a spot check.” It makes a big difference.
Try an exclusive casual sex app.
Girls or women who are looking to find casual sex, or even someone they’re just seeing on the side with no strings attached, can often benefit from the option to use a hookup app. Instead of trying to hit on and flirt with strangers, simply talk to them in a safe way and use the app as your simple hookup service. Though these apps are just websites, they have a bunch of features that make them more akin to finding someone real in the outside world. For one, the sex chat feature could help you chat someone up, and it allows users to get to know each other before exchanging numbers.
If you’re looking for a high-level affair — the kind of thing that you’re probably only just getting interested in — a hookup app isn’t the best option. If you’re a relationship casual who wants to just be a friend with benefits, a hookup app is a good way to go. You can still have sex, and you can still fall in love, and be friends at the end of the day. You just have to put in the work to make that happen.
You want to have sex. You want someone to be a
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Like the TV show Sex and the City, this idea that casual sex will change your life is a thing, says Natalie Angier, a New York Times science journalist. She explains that it’s a bit of a myth: “They say it’s going to completely transform your life — they’re just paying for the ticket.” To be specific, casual sex doesn’t cause your knees to wobble, nor will it kill your self-confidence.
“But [casual sex] will make you have to spend more of your life playing games, e.g., finding time and romantic dates and tricks to have sex,” she says. To prevent your casual rendezvous from ending up like Carrie Bradshaw’s bad boyfriends, you need to be in the know. “This is true, but the solution is the opposite of that — follow the rules of a healthy relationship from the start and it’s almost guaranteed you’ll never have a problem.”
Everyone’s heard the statistics about STIs and unwanted pregnancies due to casual sex — that “50 percent of new single parents in the U.S. are single mothers,” says Angier. The gory numbers are shocking, but they don’t necessarily prove casual sex to be a bad thing. “When I was in college, it was true,” says Angier. “But now that I’m in my 30s, all of a sudden, there are lots of good, healthy, intelligent, ambitious, straight women in their 30s who are single mothers with their own kids.”
Angier, who’s been hooking up ever since she was 16, says that this shift happens as more women accept that casual sex is a viable option. “I met one of my best friends at that first casual [hookup],” says Angier. “We’ve been good friends for 15 years and even though we’ve slept with each other in that time, we’ve never slept with anyone else, ever. We still haven’t.”
Before you get into the habit of casual sex, there are some characteristics of a healthy relationship. Start with self-awareness: When it comes to hookup culture, you need to be comfortable with your own motivations for casual sex and not become obsessive about the people you’re sleeping with. “I realized that I had had my first ten sexual partners in my late 20s, when I was single,” says Angier. “I didn’t realize how many until I started going on and off the app. I should have

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