We’ve all heard the rumors: casual sex is the opposite of being sexually fulfilled and intimate. But is it all bunk, or do bad habits of hooking up play a role in why one person is more miserable in his relationships than another?

Understanding this, the monogamous person realizes he has a right to the same sexual fulfillment as the casual hookup, and knows that an important part of what makes his partner happy is being available to him to explore the boundaries of intimacy. And in turn, the casual hookup fully authenticates the monogamous person in the friend zone by coming into the relationship with eyes wide open — “the games are over.” The same can be said for people living in open relationships, where sex is planned — and often saved for — in advance.
If it’s not all about what you’re missing, why do we talk about it in the first place?
Preexisting biases and attitudes play a big role in casual sex. That’s right — the current social climate has a lot to do with why many people believe casual sex is icky.
It’s hard to talk about, especially because it’s hard to define. But while it’s not about physical intimacy, it most certainly is about emotional intimacy, since you’re dipping into a part of someone you don’t really know. The trauma of casual sex is not obvious, but that’s because it happens much, much more often than we realize.
As more people become aware of the high prevalence of casual sex, many more are voicing concerns about the risks associated with an emotionally charged scenario between two adults — the partners know little to nothing about each other, and have probably never even met. There are several types of traumatic experiences people face after casual sex:

Being physically coerced by a partner who doesn’t use condoms

Being verbally coerced, such as being shouted at

Being emotionally coerced, including but not limited to pressure to have sex or sex with a certain person

While these risks are fairly obvious, the idea that you might be putting someone at a higher risk of abuse in the future makes casual sex seem like a lot of trouble for very little gain.
This idea about casual sex being an emotionally risky scenario has even hit the hardcore sex industry. Recently, Dutch sex educator Erik van Lier had this to say on the topic in an op-ed he wrote for De Telegraaf:
“I went on vacation with my wife and came home horny and without a partner
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The term casual sex has become ubiquitous in the last decade, and increasingly, people are using the label to describe nearly all of their sexual experiences. It might feel as though the culture is doing away with the stigma, which is why it is sometimes used to describe sex with a casual hookup — the idea that casual sex is harmless and normal. “This is a very loaded and serious issue,” says sex therapist Kelly Martin. “For a young person, to call one’s experience a casual encounter makes them sound like a couch potato.”
She goes on to say, “There was a time when casual sex was simply having sex. Now the term brings up all sorts of connotations — it’s connected with sex for the sake of sex. We’ve created the most shameful thing in the world.”
In addition to creating feelings of shame and anxiety, calling sex casual does away with the idea of context — a crucial aspect of any sexual experience. “Unless we think about the context of sex, we’re all just sex tourists,” says Alan Garner, author of “Swinging: The Art of Casual Sex.”

Hookup culture puts a lot of pressure on people to sleep with their peers. But some people might actually want sex and/or relationship to begin offline first.
Knowing how to have a casual hookup and get good at sex is more important than ever. Blame social media, iPhones and a culture of slut shaming. According to a 2018 Kinsey Report, 77% of people have had a Tinder match turn into sex. Here are the dos and don’ts of having a casual hookup.
DO:
DO have a sense of humour about casual hookups.
This is the #1 key to casual hookup success. Imagine your best friends. They’ve all been in situations where they’ve fallen in love and had sex with the same person. Whether those relationships worked or not, they’ve all just had sex with the same person. Whether you’ve had a casual hookup, sex without commitment and/or being in love are all normal, especially if you don’t judge others for it.
DO ask about protection.
Nobody wants to get a disease. But putting a condom on before sex is only half the solution. It’s one thing to give that condom to someone, but it’s another thing to introduce yourself and ask them what kind of birth control

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