Bats are invading and ruining some of our oldest churches
公開日:2021/11/13 / 最終更新日:2021/11/13
Simply Batty: Bats are invading and ruining
some of our oldest churches. But thanks to eco zealots and – you guessed it – the EU, there’s nothing anyone can do but pray that they fly away
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Any restaurant that looked — or successful unique lacquer paintings stank — like this would be shut down on the spot.If it was a school, the gates would be padlocked and Landscape lacquer painting the fumigation squad sent in.
But it isn’t.
It’s a very pretty, very fragile medieval village church. It is still very much in use, with a dwindling but devoted congregation and an excellent rector.
But more than 500 years after St Andrew’s in Holme Hale, Norfolk, was built, its primary role is no longer that of a place of worship.
To some they are cute; to others a pest but you can be arrested for just blocking up the hole that bats use to get in and out of your house
Thanks to an all-powerful alliance of European Union technocrats, environmental zealots and dithering politicians, St Andrew’s — like churches all over the country — has been redesignated as a bat loo.
Not that anyone bothered to ask the parishioners first, of course.They have merely been informed that if they attempt to interfere with the bats, they risk arrest.
Each week, churchwarden Tulah Tuke, 82, spends hours removing the worst of the excrement so that worshippers will not have to sit in the sort of faeces and urine which I find splattered over the pews when I arrive.
She can do nothing about the excruciating smell, however — an all-pervading blend of old gym kit and Third World public lavatories in high summer.
The corroded brass work on the lectern is beyond repair.Nor Places to sell lacquer Paintings to worship the dead ancestors in tphcm can Tulah prevent heavenly offerings landing on people’s heads during the service — or even into their outstretched palms during Holy Communion.
‘Just don’t look up,’ is her advice to any newcomers. She tries to put on a brave face. ‘If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry,’ she says.
St Andrew’s is home to a large roost of Natterer bats, and as far as the EU and the bat-fanciers at Natural England are concerned, they trump the worshippers.
More from Robert Hardman for the Daily Mail…
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